Facing Fears

Last week I was on the beautiful Hawaiian island of Kauai, exploring beaches and celebrating my brother’s marriage. 

For my entire life, I have been terrified of heights. Seeing The Lion King on Broadway many years ago was ruined after sitting in the balcony front row. The entire time, I was nervous that my little brother would somehow fall over the railing. This past-year, I went on many outdoor hikes, which often led to scaling large rock walls and walking on narrow paths with sharp drop-offs. This constantly challenged my fear of heights.

When we were in Kauai, we hiked the Kalalau trail – which apparently is #8 on several ‘Hardest Hikes In The World’ list (something I did not know before we began). THIS trail tested my fear of heights – most of the trail was 12-18 inches wide with overgrown vegetation on one side and a steep drop-off on the other. It was a physically taxing experience, but I found myself more mentally exhausted from constantly focusing on my footing. This led me down the rabbit hole of other difficult things I have survived: Susanna in Le nozze di Figaro, Helena in Midsummer (running around a cemetery in July), running a marathon, completing my second year of graduate school (which included two shows, teaching students, and taking Vocology course, & planning a wedding) Hope in Something’s Afoot…

My current fear is getting back on stage and being able to rehearse and memorize a show again. I had almost three years of consistent work pre-pandemic and I will have to rebuild that muscle. 

What fears are you going to face this week?